Violence is never the answer
Over various Prides across the world many speakers and causes will be spotlighted. Many of those speaking will remind us of the violence inflicted on queer spaces, the trans lives lost to hate, and the backsliding of queers rights globally. Alongside them will be those who advocate for more radical action, for guns, for violence to fight back against those who oppress us. They draw a personal line in the sand that makes violence an acceptable response to the oppression queer folk face. I strenuously argue that while violence does have its place, threatening sexual and physical violence simply to retaliate is never the answer.
“Choke on my girl dick” or some such is a threat of sexual violence. Calling for violence against TERFs stokes hatred on the other side. Taking up arms only works if you want to propagate more violence. Yet, simply turning the other cheek leads to further loss of life and liberty for the oppressed. To simply state that violence only provokes more violence, or that you need to be amicable to gain compromise missed the messiness and power dynamics involved in trans politics. Being polite or mute in the face of violence often invites oppressive force to inch forward, yet without the power to make effective change resisting violence with more violence only brings on more violence.
Trans rights have been won in blood and ink; in the blood of murdered bodies and the ink of legislation and judicial decisions. Rights are never freely given by those with the power, they are wrested away in compromises, in fits and spurts, in the moments when compromise forces those in power to cede an inch. Protecting minority rights takes energy, time, resources, allies. It cannot simply be done by minorities alone, as often the minorities are the ones are the bottom of the economic pile.
Yet, there is also a need to police against extremism in the fight for rights. Trans folk are never islands alone within society, they exist and inhabit communities, their inherent rights at the mercy of those around them. Extremism, especially the call to violence against people and the acting on that call, inflame and make communities unsafe for everyone. Violence should always be the last resort, except when protecting one’s self from violence. Yes, there is a contradiction in the fact that implicit lack of safety can feel violent, and a first strike could alleviate that tension, yet the reality is without allies and power structures aiding and abetting the violent action will always fail to achieve its intended goals.
Sexual violence, and the threat of sexual violence, is especially problematic. For me, it is abhorrent that anyone would threaten anyone else with sexual violence even in jest. Threatening to choke someone or to use their penis to sexually violate someone is never a neutral statement. It carries inherent patriarchal power dynamics that penis owners have used against all genders across all cultures and societies. For trans women and trans femmes to weaponise their phalluses is to carry over that patriarchal privilege, and to simply call that statement a jape ignores the legitimate terror that those threats carry in the eyes of others. Trans people have higher percentages of being the victims of sexual violence, so to threaten to weaponise that violence against others is doubly troubling.
As a woman I cannot accept that penis owners are given a free pass to make rape threats, sexual violence threats, and general threats of violence. No community should ignore its extreme elements, and should do everything in its power to either bring those elements back towards the centre or exorcise them for being antithetical to the cause. Yes, oppressors will always look for any excuse to keep minorities down, yet it is the extremists that will drive the backsliding ever quicker with actions that radicalise potential allies against the community.
In decrying violence I am not simply giving up and accepting whatever rights are thrown my way. Fighting does not simply mean using one’s fists. It means building bridges, finding allies, working with others to build a brighter future. It also means accepting that sometimes being part of a community means giving a part of yourself to the wider whole. This is not respectability politics, rather acknowledging that to exist in the world is to be part of the world, with certain expectations and requirements to that. From personal experience I know how hard that can be at times, that to be yourself in a world that does not always give you all the rules up front is daunting and frustrating. Yet, to simply blame the world for everything that goes wrong can miss that sometimes it is us as individuals that need to adjust.
Is this victim blaming? Potentially, though I would say no. We cannot exist in the world without compromises to that existence. The fight for trans rights exists because those with power expect trans folk to compromise too much, to limit themselves in ways that is not expected of cisgender folk. Trans folk cannot be expected to be separate but equal in a society that makes being trans second class citizenship. But, I hear you say, if they will not give us rights surely violence is the only answer. This is not 1848 or 1917 or 1965, this is 2023. If violence solved the problem of rights we would be living in a utopia, yet the reality is it is the messy compromises and backsliding on the almost-revolutions that create the societies we live in today.
I am contradicting myself on violence in some respects, as the paradox is that without defending ourselves or at least having the means to defend ourselves, we are open to slaughter. It is a paradox, one which cost Ghandi and King their lives, advocate for dialogue and non-violence and the extreme elements on both sides will always find ways to radicalise. The only lines that are set in the sand are the ones we draw ourselves, how far are we prepared to go to gain the rights we are inherently entitled to. For me, one of those lines must be sexual violence, as all it does is alienate those who could otherwise stand with us. Which lines you will not cross are up to you, but ultimately it is the building of bridges that will get us the rights we need.
