Trans women enjoy sex too
One of the constant refrains in the media is how transitioning kills your sex life, makes any chance of a fulfilling and satisfying romantic life an impossibility. Tosh. Well, not quite, but close enough. The Guardian ran an interview with Kelly Maloney in which she divulged she had not had sex for ten years since she transitioned, a point the writer emphasised. This thread runs through much of the gender critical takedown of trans lives, with people fixating on the fact Jazz Jennings is asexual, Elliot Page divorced his ex-wife, that Cailtyn Jenner has a girlfriend. It is prurient, and draws on the myth that to transition is to enter a socially unacceptable place beyond the reach of romance, making love, and having a fulfilling relationship. The best trans women can hope for is sex work or casual flings with a side order of pity.
As a trans woman who has dated pretty much since the moment she came out I can assure you that while dating can be problematic, the reality is that coming out is not the death knell of intimacy, passion, and fulfilling relationships. I had my operation in 2008, and since then I have enjoyed fulfilling and often amazing sex with all sorts of people. Trans people rarely talk about sex and fulfilling sex lives precisely because of the societal narratives about our bodies. On the one hand we are portrayed as sex starved nymphomaniacs who prey on unwitting men; on the other we…
