Member-only story
Craving to fit in
In those moments of self-reflection we all come to realise hard truths about ourselves. It is not an easy process, indeed many of us put of reflecting on our lives because with either prefer to live in the present or find the past too hard to handle. Societally we are encouraged to be mindful of ourselves and others, yet at the same time if we go too far down the rabbit hole we are accused of navel gazing. To help my mental health I tend to use self-reflection to help work through my emotions and personal feelings, preferring to internalise rather than externalise my emotions onto other people. Sometimes this is healthy, other times I definitely go down the rabbit hole into places that are best left in the past. So why do we, why do I, do this?
There is no one definitive answer to this, as each of us have our own reasons and outcomes for self-reflection. Personally, I find it hard to share those reflection with others because it invariably ends up with me confronting a hard truth that I need time to digest and think about. Other people gladly share their journeys, and there is no one way to handle whatever the outcome is. Which is why talking about deep personal issues is much easier for me to put in writing than it is one-to-one in person.
A central issue for me has always been the deep desire to fit in, to be part of the group, not be someone perpetually looking in the window…
